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Featured Articles

» Mental Health Library » Featured Articles
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Karen Wulfson, LMFTGoing Home Again: Family Communication Tips for Adults
By Karen Wulfson, LMFT
You're an adult now - really you are! Your employer thinks you're an adult. Your friends have no doubts about your age and adulthood. You pay your bills, maintain a busy calendar, negotiate your rent or mortgage, and accomplish other "adult" tasks. And - most of the time - you actually believe you are an adult... Then the phone rings, there's a knock at the door or you are in the process of honorably fulfilling that adult responsibility - a visit to your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins or other extended family members - and suddenly you seem to shrink to small-child stature. See full article

David Poles, LMHC, CRC, LADC1Learning Resiliency
By David Poles, LMHC, CRC, LADC1
In my work at SECAP (St. Elizabeth’s Medical Center in Brighton, MA) and in my private practice at Newton Counseling Center, I often teach patients and clients the importance of becoming resilient. I believe that resiliency is a life skill that all of us need to learn. Those with addictions and those without addictions need to be able to bounce back from adversity. The following is a handout that I often use to teach the concept of resiliency. See full article

Dr. Jeanette RaymondFour Ways To Stop Your Anger From Making You Impotent!
By Dr. Jeanette Raymond
The fantasy of warm, exciting but familiar sex had been shattered. The carefully planned romantic dinner topped off with sex had been destroyed. Dan’s wife fussed about the restaurant, killing his desire. Like an awkward stranger riding home in the same car with Cherie, Dan let out long frequent sighs of exasperated frustration. Indignation boiled up inside him, but he didn’t say a word. Back home every noisy exaggerated movement was calculated to highlight his sense of martyrdom. Weary of the tension between them Cherie cuddled up to Dan in bed that night. She wanted to feel close to her husband again. Sex was the best way of making up, feeling good and repairing the breech. See full article

Keith York, Marriage and Family TherapistNewsflash For Men: 3 Ways A Woman Can Save Your Life!
By Keith York, Marriage and Family Therapist
I’ve written a lot about what women want from men, to help men understand what makes a strong foundation of an Extraordinary Relationship: what only you as a man can bring to the table and what women are crying out for. Now, becoming aware of the deeper significance of what I call an Extraordinary Relationship, and the "What’s In It For Me?" factor, deserve equal attention. Transforming yourself into a man who is able to get what he wants in life, love, and relationship will certainly make you and your partner happy, but it can also save your life. What if I told you that what’s in it for you is not only a great sex life and a loving companion, but a longer, healthier life that you can’t get any other way? It’s true! Here’s how… See full article

Ondina Nandine Hatvany, MFTHow Pleasure Can Be a Much Better Motivator Than "I Should"
By Ondina Nandine Hatvany, MFT
So what happened to the New Year Resolutions to lose that weight, go to the gym, and stop eating sugar? Or did you not even bother with resolutions this year because you didn’t want to set yourself up for failure? Who does? I was talking about all of the above with my client, Mary, who came to me for food, weight, and body image issues last year. I asked her if she was interested in trying something different, body image psychology, for weight loss. She said “Yes!” She was tired of her “excess weight” and poor body image. So I suggested she try a more right brain approach that would not only be more pleasurable but also most likely more successful. See full article

Michelle Bohls, Certified Imago Relationship TherapistThe Rudder
By Michelle Bohls, Certified Imago Relationship Therapist
Any new couple begins their journey heading into uncharted waters. Because each of you is 100% unique and no one has ever existed who is just like you, there is no map for what a life between two unique people will look like. However, like any journey, you probably know where you want to land.... at happily-ever-after, right? A rudder is a part of the boat's steering system. A slight adjustment to the rudder and the boat turns to adjust its course. When steering you want to be conscious of the rudder so that you remain on course. Did you know that when sailing, if you are even just one degree off course, it can lead you to being thousands of miles off course in a very short period of time? There is one relationship dynamic that will always knock you off course. See full article

Terry Tempinski, PhDDepression Doesn't Lie: What are the Causes of Depression?
By Terry Tempinski, PhD
One of the things I continue to be impressed with despite my 30 years of practice is how harsh we are toward ourselves when we are struggling in some way emotionally. It is really striking when you stop to think about it. Our response to our struggles is much kinder and wiser when we encounter physical problems. When we have a toothache, we swiftly get ourselves in to see the dentist. A bad cold? We try to get some antibiotics, drink fluids, and lay low. But depressed? Oh my!?! I am well aware that no one goes to see a psychologist without many months of trying to overcome whatever is ... See full article

Joan E. Shapiro, LCSW, BCDCutting & Self Mutilation
By Joan E. Shapiro, LCSW, BCD
Cutting refers to an odd behavior characterized by self mutilation by razor blade, knife, stapler, or some similarly sharp object. The wounds are usually not life threatening, and can be, for example, fine shallow cuts where blood is produced and physical pain is felt. Cutting is usually practiced alone and secretly. Depending on the patient, the cuts are either left to heal, or may be renewed. Cutters, usually young females, will attempt to hide the practice by wearing clothing over the cuts. See full article

Nancy Colier, LCSWAnd not But: Celebrating Contradiction in Relationship
By Nancy Colier, LCSW
Nature abhors a vacuum, or so they say. Similarly, it seems that human beings abhor contradiction, particularly in the context of intimate relationships. People attempt to package their feelings as positive or negative, believing that contradictory feelings cannot and should not co-exist. In approaching their relationships, people use the word but to connect their contradictory feelings, as if the positive wipes out the negative and vice versa. In fact, for a relationship to succeed, and not but must be the approach we take when linking the inconsistent feelings that are at the heart of all relationships. See full article

Dr. Lynn MargoliesDoes Your Teenager Want To Get Caught?
By Dr. Lynn Margolies
Travis was 15. He'd always been a good kid – no trouble – unlike his brothers. His parents saw him as the perfect child. That's why it was jolting and perplexing to his parents that this semester he started breaking rules, getting into trouble, and seeming downright provocative. Travis was recently caught drunk after being at friends' houses – and engaging in risky and dangerous activities. He recently remarked to his father, "I can't wait to get my dirt bike. Then I'll be able to go anywhere I want and go scary-wild!" Travis' dad was shocked by this comment and angry that Travis seemed to be purposely and intentionally rebelling. What should his parents do? See full article

Louise Fleischman, LCSW-CThe ABCs of Emotional Health
By Louise Fleischman, LCSW-C
People often equate emotional health with happiness or satisfaction in life. Consequently, we think if someone is not generally happy, that this person is not emotionally healthy. Adoptive parents are especially alert to their children’s emotional wellbeing because adoption involves significant loss and gain. However, emotional health is better defined as: A – Awareness and acknowledgement of feelings in oneself and others, B – Belief that feelings are shared among all people, and C – Capacity to manage one’s emotions appropriately. See full article

Rob Scuka, Ph.D.Recovering from Infidelity
By Rob Scuka, Ph.D.
Infidelity is one of the most difficult challenges that any marriage or committed relationship can face. Infidelity is almost universally accompanied by a deep sense of betrayal and a profound loss of trust. The reason is that the one partner experiences the infidelity of the other partner to involve a violation of explicit agreements or implicit assumptions about the nature of the relationship, and a violation of what is regarded as acceptable and unacceptable behavior relative to preserving a sense of safety within and commitment to the relationship. Infidelity can take many forms, and is not limited to sexual intercourse or other forms of sex. In addition to sexual infidelity, there is emotional infidelity and financial infidelity. See full article

Mandi Mader, LCSW-CWhat is Self Talk?
By Mandi Mader, LCSW-C
You play a bigger role in determining your own happiness and self esteem than you think. How you “think” about yourself is often not true. You may have believed for years that you are not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty or handsome enough. Cognitive therapy looks at how people talk to themselves (and yes, we all talk to ourselves). You may not be aware of it, but all through the day you say things to yourself, and often they are not very nice things. I have worked with people who constantly, silently, criticize themselves, doubt themselves, call themselves stupid, a failure, etc. It can be subtle, or not so subtle. If you begin to monitor your self talk, you may be surprised at what you hear. See full article

Gwen Gruber, LCSWThe Art of Parenting Adolescents
By Gwen Gruber, LCSW
I intend to explore some aspects of the parent-adolescent relationship, especially the unique dynamics of an adolescent's striving for independence. As a parent and a psychotherapist, the parenting of adolescents I would have to say is one of the most difficult jobs I've ever had. At the same time, it is also one of the most rewarding. Oftentimes, the only thing predictable about adolescents is their unpredictability. It is difficult for adolescents to deal with a turbulent emotional environment because of their new and sometimes raging hormones coupled with peer pressure and the demands of school and parents. Regardless of where or when you grew up, adolescence is commonly a time filled with doubt and insecurity contrasted with ... See full article

Vicki M. Leopold, LCSWWhat Me Worry? Recognizing Anxiety in Children
By Vicki M. Leopold, LCSW
Everyone worries. Worrying is a protective response and keeps us safe from potential harm. It has its beginnings in our history and in our genes. It’s part of our warning system. When the "worrying" takes on a life of its own and stops us from doing and going places that most others are able to, it is excessive and it's called anxiety. Anxiety no longer serves to protect us but in fact, it diminishes our lives. Anxiety disorders occur in children and teens much as they occur in adults. When our minds perceive an imminent danger, our bodies rush to provide us with sufficient adrenaline to elicit the proverbial "fight or flight" response. We often hear in the news how someone in danger reacted in an incredibly strong and swift way. Recently on television was the story of ... See full article

Ondina Nandine Hatvany, MFTFood, Family and the Holidays
By Ondina Nandine Hatvany, MFT
If you tend to struggle with food, weight and body image, holidays like Thanksgiving and Christmas can be particularly challenging, because they revolve so much around food and mealtimes. For the food addict*, it can feel like there is no escape. Unlike other addictions food is not something you can simply go cold turkey (pun intended) especially this time of year. Following are some tips for dealing with the food, family and holidays dilemma... See full article

Jaslyn Singh, LCPC, CH, CPMHave a Happier 2009 by Connecting With Yourself
By Jaslyn Singh, LCPC, CH, CPM
It's the new year. And you want to make sure that this year you focus on making it a peaceful year for yourself. Maintain your boundaries and strengthen your own sense of self. When you focus on the "he said, she said" business, you begin to take away from yourself, and then your focus will be more on the negative energies surrounding you. Make a pact with yourself this year to focus on maintaining a more positive atmosphere for yourself. Ask yourself these questions to get a better idea on how you connect with yourself ... See full article

Jaslyn Singh, LCPC, CH, CPMTherapy, The Real Chicken Soup for the Soul!
By Jaslyn Singh, LCPC, CH, CPM
Therapy is a beautiful thing. Many of my clients absolutely love therapy. There are several reasons why. Many people think that if you are experiencing major issues such as depression, alcoholism, anxiety, panic attacks, fears or trauma that you should be getting therapy. Well, from what I see, therapy is just not for those experiencing these types of issues. Therapy is and can be good for everybody. We all have some type of sorting out to do in our lives. It could be disappointment, angry or hurt feelings experienced at your place of employment, your neighbor not being supportive, or your friend betraying you. Or it could be a big argument or a spat with your loved one or a family member telling you how you should do things and so on. See full article

Dr. Dahlia MannStress No More: A Parent's Guide on How to Have Anxiety Free Children
By Dr. Dahlia Mann
When Max started kindergarten, he began to have trouble falling asleep at night. He often complained that his stomach hurt during the day. His parents attributed his behavior to irritability. But in fact, Max was showing the classic symptoms of stress. A five year old exhibiting stress? The idea runs counter to the popular conception of kindergarten as a time of fun and games. But in fact, children today do experience stress at a very early age. Why so much stress? Think about it from a child's perspective. Children today are carefully taught not to talk to strangers and about "good touching" and "bad touching." A child's activities are often organized on an hourly calendar because "it's not safe" to simply send children out to play. Parents are even uncomfortable letting children walk around the block unsupervised. See full article

Dawn Kravitz, L.M.F.T.Communication: The Root of Relationships
By Dawn Kravitz, L.M.F.T.
It is said that a relationship is the hardest job you will ever have. Predominantly, our “jobs” are pretty methodical and repetitious. Relationships are not. Rules are established in a relationship and come from our style of communicating with each other. “Communication” is the exchange of information or, in different terms, the articulation of sending a message. Today we have the ability to send the “message” in various ways: speech, texting on cell phones, and/or by email. How we send the message we are trying to convey will assist in how that conversation will end, whether with a reasonable solution or with anger or defensiveness. Behaviors that result in negative communication, often ending a conversation abruptly without a healthy solution, include: defensiveness, blaming; criticizing; personalizing issues; acting entitled; refusing to talk; being demanding. See full article

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