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» Provider Directory » Find a Therapist » Arizona » Scottsdale Therapists » Therapist Profile


Jef Gazley, MS, LMFT

Codependence - Codependency

Codependency is focusing so much on another person's needs and problems that we forget to take care of our own well being and emotional health. The inability to say "no" when "no" is warranted, and often putting the thoughts, feelings, and needs of others before your own are red flags of codependency. If you are suffering from codependence, e-counseling can help. E-counseling is an affordable, capable treatment option for codependent issues. E-counseling is a private and anonymous alternative to traditional therapy. Characteristics of codependency:
  1. Most often putting the thoughts, feelings, and needs of others first ~ before your own.
  2. Feeling that you give more in relationships than you get back.
  3. Finding that your caring and loving feelings are turning to resentment because of feeling you are giving too much and are being unappreciated.
  4. An inability to say "no" when "no" is warranted.
  5. Feelings of substantial insecurity in relationships where there is little to no reason to feel like the relationship is in danger of ending.
  6. Experiencing rejection sensitivity. This is the irrational belief that others are negative towards us. No one enjoys being rejected, but people suffering from co-dependence are unduly hurt by other peoples slights. They also often see rejection when it isn't there.
  7. Feeling like the relationship "is out of control" or that you are "out of control."
  8. Feeling that you won't be OK unless the other person is in your life. People suffering from co-dependence have tremendously strong abandonment fears.
  9. An inability to set proper boundaries in relationships. Boundaries are where one person ends off and where one person begins. Boundaries are basically respect and good manners.
  10. The inability to feel validated in the relationship regardless of how often they are validated.
  11. Unhealthy tolerance of verbal, sexual, or physical abuse. A co-dependent person tends to view abuse as normal or the best that can be expected.
  12. The inability to leave the relationship under any circumstance even when most of the good feelings have left and even if severe abuse is present.
  13. Chronically engaging in behavior that is self-defeating in subtle and non-subtle ways.

Jef Gazley, M.S., LMFT, DCC


Jef Gazley, MS, LMFT, Scottsdale

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Scottsdale, AZ 85254

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Credential Abbreviations

Attention Deficit Disorder
ADD-care a Natural Alternative
Attention Deficit Disorder and Attention Deficit Disorder with Hyperactivity ADD/ADHD

Energy Psychology
EMDR Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing
Neuro Emotional Technique or NET
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder/PTSD
Tru Brain Trauma Therapy

Addictive Love
Healthy Love

Substance Abuse
Chemical Dependence and Alcoholism
Codependence - Codependency

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Last Modified: 10/21/2019  

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The information provided on this site is for educational or informational purposes only and should not be treated as medical or behavioral health care advice. The information is not intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment or as a substitute for consultation with a qualified health care provider. Please consult your health care provider if you have any questions or concerns about your health.
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