Emotional Support During Divorce
Divorce is not just the end of a marriage, it is also the re-shaping of a family. While there is a very hopeful, positive aspect to the new beginnings offered in divorce, there are also great stressors and a need to find new sources of support and coping skills.
As roles shift and new definitions for parents are created, feeling isolated and overwhelmed can be common. In addition, changes in routines can feel unsettling and scary. Divorce is fraught with both, creating high stress levels and difficult emotions. Divorcing parents are faced with two challenges; finding the supports they need as single parents and finding the supports they need as newly-single people.
The new role of "single parent" can be complex. Parents who divorce can find that they need to create new routines, new traditions and new ways to handle challenges. Newly single parents may find they have less available time to spend with their children because they must return to work or work more hours. They may need to find new plans for when children are home from school for illness or unexpected school closings due to weather. They may also find they are faced with handling parenting issues on their own that they never had to face before such as peer/social issues, puberty and developmental changes, setting limits, handling academic and emotional concerns, and others. Parents need to find sources of accurate information, direction and help in addressing these important areas.
Divorced or divorcing parents are often so focused on their children's needs that they fail to see their own need for support. Stress levels of divorce can be very high. Feelings like shock, trauma, depression, anxiety, grief and anger are common. Companionship and support can alleviate many of these stressors. It is important that parents who are divorcing reach out to their friends, family and loved ones and not be afraid to ask for emotional support. Sometimes speaking with a licensed therapist can be a source of safe, non-judgemental help as well
While there are many difficult aspects to divorce and creating a new life as a single parent, there are many opportunities for happiness. Finding ways to feel confident and secure in facing the challenges of their new role as single-parent, while building a sense of hope and trust that they can find happiness and create a life that is fulfilling and joyful is important. Social and professional supports can help with all of these and it is important that divorcing parents find sources for this
Sirka Louca, LCSW-R
sloucalcswr@optonline.net
http://www.sirkaloucalcswr.com/
http://www.divorceresourcesoflongisland.com/
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