Success Strategies for Parenting Your Teenage Boy, By Michael L. Stoller, LCSW

• Respect your son’s integrity and his authority over his own life.

• Have faith that whatever you want to tell your son, you have told him already and he will remember it when the time comes.

• Offer help with an open hand.

• Try offering help in the form of a question. "Would you like…?” or "How can I help?”

• Be responsible and manage your own helplessness and fear without imposing it on him.

• Never offer advice without asking permission first.

• Tell your son "I love you. I am proud of you. I know you have what it takes. You are a wild man.” Do this thousands different ways.

• Be around not only physically, but also emotionally.

• Walk your talk (i.e. if you want your son to be healthier, look at how you are taking care of your own health).

• Be vulnerable. Share some of your fears, worries, and uncertainties with him.

• Admit when you are wrong and apologize frequently.

• Be selfish. Fill yourself up first prior to giving yourself away.

• Always be cool and calm in the face of his distress, anger, or sadness.

• Listen to your son even if he is yelling at you.

• Say as little as possible in order to get your son to say as much as possible.

• Use "I” statements. Talk more about your feelings than his behavior.

• Gauge your son’s mood prior t0 having tough conversations.

• Drop everything you are doing if your son wants to talk to you. This opportunity does not come frequently.

• Let go of your pride (i.e. you don’t need to have the last word).

• Focus on the 90% he is doing well instead of the 10% he is not.

• THIS TIME WILL PASS! He won’t be a teenager forever.