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» Provider Directory » Find a Therapist » Illinois » Naperville Therapists » Therapist Profile

 

Michael L. Stoller, LCSW

Success Strategies for Parenting Your Teenage Boy, By Michael L. Stoller, LCSW

  • Respect your son’s integrity and his authority over his own life.

  • Have faith that whatever you want to tell your son, you have told him already and he will remember it when the time comes.

  • Offer help with an open hand.

  • Try offering help in the form of a question. "Would you like…?” or "How can I help?”

  • Be responsible and manage your own helplessness and fear without imposing it on him.

  • Never offer advice without asking permission first.

  • Tell your son "I love you. I am proud of you. I know you have what it takes. You are a wild man.” Do this thousands different ways.

  • Be around not only physically, but also emotionally.

  • Walk your talk (i.e. if you want your son to be healthier, look at how you are taking care of your own health).

  • Be vulnerable. Share some of your fears, worries, and uncertainties with him.

  • Admit when you are wrong and apologize frequently.

  • Be selfish. Fill yourself up first prior to giving yourself away.

  • Always be cool and calm in the face of his distress, anger, or sadness.

  • Listen to your son even if he is yelling at you.

  • Say as little as possible in order to get your son to say as much as possible.

  • Use "I” statements. Talk more about your feelings than his behavior.

  • Gauge your son’s mood prior t0 having tough conversations.

  • Drop everything you are doing if your son wants to talk to you. This opportunity does not come frequently.

  • Let go of your pride (i.e. you don’t need to have the last word).

  • Focus on the 90% he is doing well instead of the 10% he is not.

  • THIS TIME WILL PASS! He won’t be a teenager forever.



Michael L. Stoller, LCSW, Naperville

 Practice Locations
Naperville, IL 60540

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Articles
Success Strategies for Parenting Your Teenage Boy, By Michael L. Stoller, LCSW
How To Get Your Son To Talk, By Michael L. Stoller, LCSW
Focus on the 90%, By Michael L. Stoller, LCSW

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Last Modified: 7/3/2019  


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