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» Provider Directory » Find a Therapist » California » San Francisco Therapists » Therapist Profile


Adrian Tiller, MFT

Office: 1779 Union Street
San Francisco, CA 94123
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Profession: Marriage and Family Therapist
Services: Psychotherapy/Counseling
Telehealth (Video/Phone) Therapy
Practice Description:
I'm using video sessions and phone calls to work with clients during this time of social distancing. I have a couple of openings--and new clients are welcome.

Did you have a self-absorbed parent?
Were your parents' needs more important than your own?
Did your mother or father demand love and affection—but gave little in return?

Narcissistic. Borderline. Self-absorbed. Toxic. Call them what you will, wounded parents create wounded children. And these children grow up without the basics of warmth and kindness, safety and stability.

In order to survive, we adapt and bend to the needs of our all-powerful parents. If that means we learn to parent our parent, that’s what we do. If we have to develop antennae to read the emotional climate and quickly shift to the rapidly changing moods in a chaotic home, so be it.

Our young hope (and need) goes something like this: If I do and say the right thing, if I support this wobbly person, if I give enough long enough, then one day . . . one day . . . s/he will be strong enough to adequately take care of me.

But what if that day never arrives? We can spend our entire lives looking for what we never got from our parents. We may attract spouses who are carbon copies of our caregivers. Expecting criticism, we perceive others’ innocent remarks as attacking or devaluing. Or maybe we’re never satisfied with the amount of attention, approval and reassurance we get.

Are your parents still running your life? Are you still trying to please them—even if they’re deceased? Are you trying to figure out who you are and what you want out of life? Are your relationships scattered with minefields?

Therapy is a way to find answers and chart a new course. Set limits and teach others how to treat you. To resolve the past, create goals and move forward.

I do more than just listen and say, “Um huh,” or “How does that make you feel?” My approach is pragmatic and straightforward. We work together to set goals and stay on task. I offer suggestions and feedback. And I’ve been doing this work for thirty years.

On the right side of this screen, you'll see links to several articles I've written. They will give you more information about me and how I work with clients.
Practice Specialties or Interests:

(Strengths are
in bold text)
Relationship Issues
Anxiety Disorders/Phobias
Gay/Lesbian Issues
Age Specialties: Adolescents
Session Formats: Individual
Treatment Approaches: Cognitive/Cognitive-Behavioral
Education: Masters
University of Tennessee
License #: LMFT25896
License State: California
Accepted Insurance: APS Healthcare
Blue Shield
Health Net

Adrian Tiller, MFT, Marriage and Family Therapist in San Francisco

 Other Practice Locations
Novato, CA 94945

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 Additional Information
Years in Practice:  Over 20
Gender:  Male
Accepting New Clients:  Yes
Sliding Fee Scale:  Yes
Public Transportation:  Yes

Articles by Adrian are below

Porn and Panic
The Problem with Porn
When Paic Attacks

Self-esteem & Selfish Parents
Improving Self-esteem
Coping with Self-Absorbed Parents

Intimacy for Gay Men
Intimacy for Gay Men

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Last Modified: 4/2/2020  

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The information provided on this site is for educational or informational purposes only and should not be treated as medical or behavioral health care advice. The information is not intended to be used for medical diagnosis or treatment or as a substitute for consultation with a qualified health care provider. Please consult your health care provider if you have any questions or concerns about your health.
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