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Michelle Bohls, MA, LMFT, EMDR, CIT (Imago) |
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What is Voice Dialogue?
What are the "Selves" in Voice Dialogue?
We all know that on one hand we feel one way but on the other hand, its clear we feel different. We like this aspect of a job, but hate the other, sure, but sometimes it feels like parts of our own self are in conflict. One part wants a new car,
or lover, or CD,
but other parts feel it would be dangerous or just stupid, and still an other sees the practical advantages. The idea that we are one person with many selves or sub-personalities has been around, but in the 80's Dr. Hal and Dr. Sidra Stone began working with the selves in dialogue. Here is what they have to say:
By Dr. Hal and Dr. Sidra Stone
We see the selves as the smallest discrete units of the psyche: as energy bodies that vibrate within us and determine “who we are” at any given time. Each self has its own way of viewing the world, its own perceptions, its own beliefs and rules, and its own specific history. And even though these are energy bodies, they manifest themselves quite individually in the body and can affect it in a number of ways. Sometimes this is more apparent than others as, for example, when one self has a headache or a stammer, or high blood pressure, or high blood sugar or allergies and another doesn’t. Some selves can sing or dance while others cannot. Some have fewer facial wrinkles (inner children) some even have differing color eyes.
The selves may have verifiable physical correlates as well. Recent advances in functional neurological imaging suggest to us that (1) the different selves may well represent specific locations in the brain and /or (2) they may represent webs of neuronal pathways that have developed over time as a result of repetitive experiences or actions. We know of no specific research that has been to test these hypotheses, but we feel that this is an exciting area for investigation.
The first person to explore possible physiological correlates of the selves and the evolution of the Aware Ego process is John Dougherty, a neurologist specializing in Alzheimer's disease and anosognosia. He has suggested a locus for the Aware Ego process and hypothesizes as follows: “Modern neuroscience would suggest that as we move our center of operation and “choice making” to the Aware Ego, we make increasing use of the anterior cingulate cortex. This ‘executive choice maker’ (Aware Ego) has become an area of active neuroscience research.”
The selves remain basically consistent through time. The Responsible Parent will always be a Responsible Parent (although it may begin to understand other ways of viewing the world), the Rational Mind will always be a Rational Mind and will never embrace feelings (although it might gain an appreciation of their role), and the Child will never grow up. But as we work with them, we do see changes. These changes can take a number of forms.
For most selves, however, a clarification takes place as we work with them. Think of a house that over many years has become overgrown with vines and other vegetation. In a way that is what happens to each self. And, as we speak to that self, it is as though we were removing this vegetation and exposing the original house or self. As each self has the opportunity to speak out loud with the aid of a facilitator, it is able to clarify who it is and what it does, to explain its point of view, its contributions, and its needs. Some facilitators and teachers might view this clarification as the self moving more and more from the personal to the archetypal expression of an energy.
As we work with selves, most of them tend to become more of an asset than a liability. Each self – as we often say – has a good side and a problematical side. For example, a Loving Parent is has a great deal to give, but in its problematical or more negative form, it can suffocate others. As one works with the Loving Parent self, it will always remain loving, but it can evolve to the point where it allows freedom to others and no longer requires itself to love everyone, everywhere, all the time. Similarly, a Perfectionist can begin to restrict its requirements. Instinctual selves can become more protective. Fearful selves can signal danger, but learn to do this when real danger exists rather than be fearful all the time.
Lastly, as we work with the individual selves, we find that transformation takes place on all three levels of consciousness:
1. The Selves
The selves evolve in many ways – but their basic energy pattern remains the same. The child will always be a child even though its innocent wisdom may come to replace some of its worries; the Inner Patriarch will remain an Inner Patriarch although his contributions may become more constructive than destructive. Each is individual and, therefore, not completely predictable. As we have already pointed out, they tend to become better defined and the gifts they offer become more apparent and available.
2. The Awareness Level
The Awareness Level expands. As we work with the selves, more and more information becomes available to our Awareness and a broader and increasingly objective picture of the operation of the psyche develops.
3. The Aware Ego process
The Aware Ego expands, gaining more strength, more authority, more ability to make real choices in life, and greater control.
What is the Aware Ego's role?
When we are in the Aware Ego Process do we try to “make the selves happy”, i.e. cater to their wishes or do we listen and reassure them that they will be fine even if in a particular situation we do not do exactly what they want us to do?”
If we were to try to make the selves happy, to emphasize the satisfaction of the selves, we would be looking at the Aware Ego process as a parent that must care for the selves as though they were children. This view would place the Aware Ego in a position of responsibility and would be quite restrictive. A new set of rules would replace the ones held by the primary selves and the Aware Ego would lose its fluidity and creativity.
In actuality, the Aware Ego process does take care of the selves – but not always in the way they would wish. It honors and embraces them in such a way that their energies are represented in our overall consciousness process and in the daily living of our lives.
For instance, you must make a decision of whether or not to call Mom on Sunday. The loving child might want to telephone her mother each Sunday while a self that realizes we need to rest doesn’t want to do so. Just knowing both of these selves and feeling them deeply gives a voice to each and includes them in your life – the Aware Ego must feel the pain of the loving child if you decide not to phone and, conversely, feel the annoyance or disappointment of the selfish self if you do decide to phone.
Whether or not you phone, and whether or not both selves are convinced of the wisdom of your choice is beside the point. Basically, you are leaving neither behind and – at some level – they know this and appreciate it. You are exercising and expanding your Aware Ego as you feel the opposites and come up with the best possible decision at this moment. When we are in an Aware Ego process, we can come up with really creative suggestions – perhaps you call your mother but you speak to her on your cell phone from a hammock with a cool drink beside you instead of phoning her from the office while you try to do your email and listen to her at the same time - as you usually do. Even more important, you are learning to live with the opposites - the ambiguity of real life
We do not see the role of the Aware Ego process as focused upon caretaking the selves. Our aim for the Aware Ego process is to hold the tension of opposites rather than try to satisfy any particular self. The Aware Ego process is an evolving and dynamic part of consciousness – something that we believe is an evolutionary step beyond the traditional ego. It is an ego that combines Awareness (or the traditional witness position of the meditator) with the experience of opposing selves to come up with an entirely new way of living life.
This way of dealing with life allows for our decision making to come from a deeper wisdom one in which archetypal information blends with personal experience. It invites our dreams to ignite, to give us information, and to guide us in our daily lives. We are able to move into the traditionally spiritual realms of the unfolding of our own soul’s journey. Sometimes we think of this as a move towards “enlifen-ment” as contrasted with “enlightenment.
Additional Resources besides Michelle Bohls:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gZ37piq57w&feature=related
or search "Voice Dialogue"
Delos, Inc.
PO Box 605
Albion, CA 95410
Phone: (707) 937-2424 Fax: (707) 937-4119
http://www.voicedialogue.org
Austin, Texas
M. Dorsey Cartwright, LPC, LMFT, CCMHC
(512) 444-7733 MDCartw@aol.com
www.VoiceDialogueTrainings.com
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